Left versus right, white versus black, dumb versus smart, young versus old. You’re too fat. You’re too skinny. You’re not rich enough. You’re too materialistic. Hmm, now what about “you don’t work hard enough!”, or “you’re too lazy!”?
I had learned that you should avoid people who are do-nothings, or low vibration, or time-wasting losers, or toxic negative people — identify them quickly and avoid them. Don’t settle for anything but quality or you’re just being soft and compromising unnecessarily.
I had also learned that it’s a dog-eat-dog world, that you need to be ruthless toward your own weaknesses or you will become soft, you will stunt your growth curve, you’ll settle for an inferior and not-as-actualized version of yourself.
Taking this on I became skeptical of everyone, and became very perceptive at identifying weaknesses and sizing people up. I became my own drill sergeant, always pressing myself to beat my weaknesses into submission and march on with developing my strengths, really reaching for the stars.
All was great. My growth curve was exponential, removing old dead weight friends, becoming stronger and lighter. More money, more women — more of everything I wanted. Then something started to dawn on me. It became clear to me that I was perpetually angry. Negative. Downright hostile and mean at times.
“No excuses, you’re on top of shit or you’re either lazy or a weakling. Get in my way, you’re an enemy. Hold me back and you’re a liability. Aren’t getting it done, you’re defective.” I was a mess. Disgusting. Horrible way to live.
Does the language above seem to be in balance to you? Absolutely not. Does it have some merit however? Of course. So, I’ll ask you, what might go on the other side of the scale to make this fly straight? What’s missing from the equation?
If you broke your leg, would you be angry that you couldn’t walk? You might. If you broke your leg, would you call yourself a weakling and a loser for not being able to walk on a broken leg? I’d hope not. You could think something like this:
“I am at my best on these crutches. I will move at the pace I can, and will heal at the pace I can.”
Do you see the difference here? We must have compassion!
Life is hard on people. We are flawed, emotional, irrational, soft meat robots whose system does not first ask permission to be programmed. Our environment forms us much of the time. We are often helpless to much danger, it takes a long time to master anything, much less life.
The ‘no excuses’ attitude is useful, but on its own it’s a trap — it must be kept in balance. Do you ever ask “why?” when it comes to failures, even small ones, but with compassion instead of blame?
If someone is a myopic, radical, extreme political ideologue, are you just going to call them stupid? You might, but have you ever asked why they are that way while giving the benefit of the doubt? Have you accounted for exposure to the wrong things, traumas and other undiscovered elements?
This here is the key to well-balanced compassion.
Did you know that most people are at their maximum performance doing the best they can at this time, and most people mean well in some manner? We are flawed. We only are how we are.
We must be patient. We learn to care about the next person and ourselves, and this means belaying pressing things unnaturally or expecting more that simply does not exist. Nature does not hurry, yet everything seems to get done.
If you want to truly take care of yourself and others, you will show love and patience, and through this you will begin to see the best in others as well as their flaws, not just what’s wrong. Understand that we are all just trying to make it, and even insane people in their mind think they are making good decisions. Their incentives are simply desynchronized in a manner that often they cannot realise.
Love others, love yourself. Do not burden the soul with anger toward everyone’s flaws, but empower all in celebration of their unique contributions. With compassion, when you understand these things, you will find that you become lighter, smarter, and even bring the best out in other people. You will ease the weight on your shoulders and theirs. You will become more patient in recognizing this is all there is and you will sense the natural pace of evolution, synchronizing your ambitions.
Be love centred, show how smart you are by allowing your perceptions to be synced up to the pace of things, and you will flow forward with grace and with power! Be of love and light and see how much more in balance you are. Be compassionate.